Who Buys These?

I’ll admit it’s been quite a while since I used them
But aren’t condoms intended for having sex with a human?
I ask because today in the prophylactic aisle of my local Safeway-
How appropriate, huh?- I saw something that made me smile
But then it made me wonder if what goes on beneath the covers
Or in a restaurant bathroom or under a tree has changed a lot.
In big letters on the bright yellow background of a smaller box
On the front of a shiny black box of Trojan Magnums was the notation
“Now even warmer.” How hot do you need a condom to become?
If you’re not fornicating with a corpse or using some sort of erotic
Appliance- that is to say bluntly if there’s sufficient man meat
Involved to justify the appellation “Magnum”- shouldn’t there also
Be enough body heat coming from the two of you and not the condom?
(Labeling them according to who’s to receive the pleasure-
Her or both of you as if while she’s receiving pleasure
You’re mentally rearranging spice jars and bored out of your skull-
Is odd and twisted in its own unique way
But I’ll take that up in a different poem on- yes- a different day.)