Posts Tagged ‘anger

04
Apr
12

four

I don’t condone these violet ways.
Your psycho path, friend, concerns me.
Like swimming through honey- your deep malaise-
Still I don’t condone these violet ways.
Noodling with wallflowers at hip soirees;
Breathing foulness into ears so yearny.
I don’t condone these violet ways.
You’re a psychopath. Friends concern me.

14
Feb
11

Mother

in the Dark
at the back of the cupboard I found
a Potato you left behind
when you left me to clean up your mess
when you left me

it was small and soft, a little shriveled,
its Heart was Dark like yours mother.

(Women and vegetables rot from the inside,
you said, and who would know better than you?)
the sprouts were thin and white
fragile as frostbitten fingers
fragile as the feelers of a cockroach

sniffing for danger and probing for food
as you probed, looking for soft spots,
for openings in my hard upper layers,
places for your cuttings to sprout and not heal.

Think for yourself, you said, but
How? With your words wrapped
around my thoughts–
tentacles of an octopus Mother.
you– made me a vacuum, sucking up
Crumbs of Affection
from whomever might drop them.
now you’re gone and a

vacuum remains pulling me apart like cobwebs,
a dandelion when it’s gone to seed,
a Potato, unpierced by love, left in the microwave

Until it explodes.

(The “assignment” was to write a poem in the manner of Sylvia Plath. I’m not fond of most of her poetry because it’s so dark and melodramatic but here’s my best shot. It’s also my first draft so feel free to make constructive comments.)

12
Sep
10

I Wanted To Be Left Alone

All I wanted to do was wrap up in my Snuggie,
Play games on my laptop, maybe eat a little chocolate.
You were going to the store and wanted me to go with
But I have cramps & my back hurts & I really don’t care
If anybody eats again as long as they leave me alone.
You wore me down and I put on decent clothes &
Washed my face & combed my hair & sat down to wait.
I sat on the edge of the couch while you read
1
2
3
4
sections of the Sunday paper and drank your tea.
Suddenly an internal signal sounded and you stood up.
I stood up too, bouncing off the sofa like a jack-in-the-box.
Now you’re mad all over again.
You say I had bad body language. I need to monitor myself.
I need to be more aware of what my body is saying.
The purpose of language is communication and I know
My body is saying what my words and voice said 40 minutes ago:
I want to be left alone.

13
Feb
10

Fate Pays The Rent (Twenty-third Installment)

“How did we go from your toe-curling love of Mr. Gomez to commands from God?” Josh said.
“All the time I try to talk with Aaron about the building and how I want him to put in a good word for Mr. Gomez and all the time he is busy with his own work. Then one night I come here late at night and his door is a little bit open. The lights are off and he always locks the door so I know he must be in there alone.”
“Weren’t you worried about going into a dark office with a slightly open door?”
“Aren’t you listening, Powell? She was in love.”
“A little bit of light was coming through the blinds and I can see Aaron lying on the floor behind the desk. I think he must have been working and decided to rest here instead of going home.”
“Did you know he suffered from migraines?”
“What?”
“Never mind. Just go on with the story.”
“I walk over to him and say, ‘I need to talk with you about Mr. Gomez and the cleaning’.”
“What did he say?” Gary asked.
“He didn’t say anything. He was looking at me because I could see the light from the window shining on his eyes.”
“Was he moving?”
“No. He was just looking at me and he didn’t move and he didn’t say anything. So I told him again. ‘I need to talk with you about Mr. Gomez and the cleaning.’ And he still didn’t say anything but he turned his head toward the window.”
“That must have been a good trick.”
“Quiet!”
“Then I heard a voice but I knew it wasn’t his. I looked around and there was just me and him in the office and I knew it must be God.”
“Because she has regular conversations with him out loud.”
Clement frowned at Josh. “What did God say?”
“He said to me, ‘If you love me and you love Mr. Gomez and you love your people, you must kill this man.’ I said, ‘Aaron, God is telling me I have to kill you to save the building for Mr. Gomez. What should I do?’”
“Did he answer that time?”
“No, he still said nothing and God said, ‘He can’t hear me because he doesn’t believe. You pray to me and I answer your prayers but this man doesn’t answer you when you are physically in the same room with him. I talk with you because I care for you but this man cares so little about you that he turns his head away when you speak to him.”
“Then what happened?”
“I said, ‘Aaron, why won’t you talk to me? I thought we knew each other but now you don’t even recognize me. Why are you looking out the window instead of at me?’”
“And?”
“And God said, ‘He doesn’t look at you because he feels you are not worth looking at. He has no respect for you or for your people. You must rise up and kill him so people like him will learn to respect you and your people and so Mr. Gomez will be safe. When you do this thing, I will give you a new name. Your name will no longer mean sadness but miracle.’ God told me he would give me the name ‘Milagra’ and I would not be Dolores anymore because I made a miracle happen for me and for Mr. Gomez and for the Mexican people.” Her eyes were shining with tears and Clement realized she wasn’t feeling any regret for what she had done.
“How did you decide on the shovel as a weapon?” Buzz asked.
Dolores looked up at the ceiling. “I knew that if God asks you to do something then you need to do it fast. I remembered how he told Abraham that a sacrifice would be provided and I knew if he wanted me to sacrifice Aaron then he would give me a weapon. I looked around and I saw the shovel shining by the door.”
“You never thought about walking out the door and just keeping going? Did you hear anyone outside?” Clement was thinking of Jeff saying he had almost gone into the building but got scared and left. If he’d actually come in, could he have saved Aaron’s life? Would Dolores have attacked him too or could he have fought her off and called the EMS to counteract the drink Mari had given him?
“God said he would give me a new name and I picked up the shovel and went over to Aaron. Maybe I ran because when he came back with the shovel he was closer to the door than I remembered. He was lying there and the shovel was shining and his face was shining and when I saw his face like that I felt the strength of God flowing through my body and through my arms and a smaller voice in my heart said, ‘Look how his face is shining. You’re going to be sending him home to God.’”
“And then you did it? After the little voice said that?”
Milagra’s face was shining too but it looked as if she was lit up by a spotlight from the inside rather than streetlights on the outside. “I saw his face shining and I felt the power of God in my body as I lifted the shovel and I brought it down with all the strength of God. Then I saw his head sitting on the blade of the shovel and he looked like John the Baptist and I knew he was with God.” She took another sip of coffee.
“That’s a good story, Milagra, but I wouldn’t count on God being too happy with you,” Josh said. “Forgiving sin is one thing but I’ve never heard of him looking kindly on failure.” Milagra’s eyes widened and Clement thought she looked upset for the first time since she’d begun relating what happened. “Yeah. You see, you didn’t do what God asked you to do. You didn’t cut off Aaron Whittaker’s head. We talked to the coroner and he told us the spine wasn’t severed. You have to slice all the way through the spine for it to count as decapitation.”
“I did what God commanded! He told me to kill Aaron and I did.”
“Whether you killed him or whether you didn’t is something a judge is going to have to decide. Aaron Whittaker wasn’t ignoring you; He was in a diabetic coma. If you’d called 911 and gotten some people in here to help him there’s a good chance we’d be celebrating you as some kind of a hero right now. You might even get a city holiday with your name on it.”
“No! I cut off his head with a shovel!”
“No. I’m not sure whether I should say ‘I’m sorry to tell you’ but the fact is you didn’t. In order to cut all the way through the spine you’d have to be a lot stronger or a lot crazier than you are and maybe both. You haven’t saved Mr. Gomez any trouble either.” Milagra threw the coffee at Josh and put her hands over her face. “We’ll be looking into whether or not he knew you planned to kill Aaron Whittaker and if he was involved in your unnecessary mission to save his job. He may not lose any contracts he already has but I’m guessing it will be hard for him to get any new ones.”
Milagra wrapped her arms around herself and started rocking on the chair. “Oh, Mr. Gomez. Mr. Gomez, I’m so sorry. Oh, Mr. Gomez.”

11
Feb
10

Senseless Beauty

The markings on the
Chinese vase read “May peace be
In the hearts of all
Who dwell within these walls.” The
Words meant nothing to
Two women rolling around
In the dust, fighting
To gain possession of it
For its loveliness alone.

10
Feb
10

I’m Sorry

I didn’t intend to hurt you feelings like that.
I meant to say those things in a very different way.
I had imagined that before I spoke my piece,
I’d have time to pretty it up;
Choose just the right softening words,
Something appropriately multisyllabic.
Instead you forced the moment,
Startled the extremely rough first draft out of me
And I’m sorry but I don’t believe I should be judged
On something submitted without benefit of time for revision or polishing.
So let’s pretend one of us has just pressed ctrl + z
And try this again later.

21
Jan
10

Promised Land Blues

I was born one Sunday morning with a Bible in my hand
I was born one Sunday morning with a Bible in my hand
I was born one Sunday morning with a Bible in my hand
And the preacher told my mama, “He’ll lead us to the Promised Land.”

Oh my daddy died one Friday with a shotgun in his hand
My daddy died one Friday with a shotgun in his hand
Yes my daddy died one Friday with a shotgun in his hand
And the preacher told my mama, “There dies a wasted man.”

When I moved North to the city, Ma was crying on the stairs
When I moved North to the city, Ma was crying on the stairs
When I moved North to the city, my ma was crying on the stairs
I said, “Mama, stop your weeping cuz there’s a better life up there.”

Since I been here in the city I’ve found sorrow, I’ve found pain
Since I been here in the city oh I cannot stop the pain
Since I been here in the city I’ve found sorrow, I’ve found pain
If I could trade my pride for dollars, I’d be in Mama’s arms again

Nearly down to one last dollar and there’s a question in my head
Nearly down to one last dollar and there’s a question in my head
I’m almost down to one last dollar and there’s a question in my head
Should I buy that silky shotgun or a moldy loaf of bread?

Mama, please forgive me for what I’m about to do
Mama, please forgive me for what I’m about to do
Mama, please forgive me for what I’m about to do
But I think I see my daddy and he’s come to lead me through.

Jesus, do you hear me? Answer if you can
Sweet Jesus, do you hear me? Answer if you can
Jesus! Do you hear me? Come on, answer if you can
How was I to lead my people when there ain’t no Promised Land?