Health Care Summit Summary

our people hate this
health care bill; let’s start with a
clean slate. everyone
needs equal time to speak. who
cares? look at Rep. Ryan’s hair.

Yep. That’s The Plan.

Go home, have a nap
Then go to Thelma Lou’s for
TV. Think I will.

Chicken-Fried Hypocrite (You Know Who You Are)

You watch all the TV shows on how to get in shape.
You criticize the girls who’d look pregnant if they ate a grape
Hold down one end of the sofa like you was Jabba the Hut.
You say I could lose a couple more inches offa my butt.

You are a batter-dipped, chicken-fried, fat-filled hypocrite.
Man, you must be crazy and I’m getting tired of it.
You tell us all to shake a leg
When all you do is sit.
You are a batter-dipped and chicken-fried fat-filled hypocrite.

Now you’re diabetic- triglycerides off the scale.
The drawstring on your PJs would fit a baby whale.
About two hundred pounds a-riding on your size 7 shoes.
Pick up the phone and say “Hello”
The Biggest Loser’s looking for you.

You are a batter-dipped, chicken-fried, fat-filled hypocrite.
Man, you must be crazy and I’m getting tired of it.
You tell us all to shake a leg
When all you do is sit.
You are a batter-dipped and chicken-fried fat-filled hypocrite.

Motivation

Stop pointing the remote at the cat.
The ballgame is not on TV.
Ack! Give all the remotes to Anna!
You’re making us want to drink.