Posts Tagged ‘life


and how do *you* know?

How can I tell if I am pregnant
How can I tell if my dog is pregnant
How can I tell if a guy likes me
How can I tell if my phone is tapped
How can I tell if my cat is pregnant
How can I tell if a girl likes me
How can I tell if my transmission is slipping
How can I tell if a nit is dead
How can I tell if my fish is pregnant
How can I tell if I’m pregnant
How can I tell if all circuits are dead
What if it’s only a test and I’m an illusion?


so adorable

tots at the clinic:
free-ranging charmers spread their
sweet smiles and fresh germs


No Mozart I

Old enough now to
Face the truth: I’ll never be
A child prodigy.


Corner of 4th and Morrison

Got any change?
Change? Change?
Man in the blue tie- got any change?
Shit, lady. You’re looking so fine.
I know you been eating good. Gimme some change.
Hey, girl. Cheeseburger from Carl’s Jr is $6.
You oughta put a quarter of that in my cup.
Better yet, buy me one.
We’ll go to my place, eat it together;
I’ll tell you how I ended up up on this wall asking for change.



I’m becoming concerned about what Dad eats
But Mom says we can’t control it.
A cup of oatmeal
Mug of 1% milk
Half a can of peaches
With his morning pills
A retainer band
Cork stopper for a jar
Four tiny rubber tires
And their antique police car
Two slices of bologna
A burger with Tillamook cheese
A coffee drink
More milk
Three wayward Canadian geese
Grape juice
Some horseradish
The remote for Mom’s TV
A baby gate
Candy canes from 2006
Our coffee table
Two slices of Cheddar
A bottle of Diet Coke
One Chinese dinner
With fortune cookie
A wood-handled leather jump rope
I’ve been very concerned about what Dad eats
But Mom-
Mom was right; we couldn’t control it.



We are moving the cat’s scratching post from its usual place-
In front of the stereo- to a more discreet spot behind the recliner.
The Kleenex box rests politely in a cubby below the coffee table.
In every room, wastebaskets have been emptied.
The dishwasher was run and unloaded; both sinks shine.
Vacuum tracks break up the regular pattern of the carpet.
Someone has even prevailed upon Dad to pull down his
Worn for a week now T-shirt in order to cover his
Unwashed for two weeks now gut.
(No one was able to convince him the occasion
Calls for actual bathing; it’s not that important.)
Today, we are having company. Semi-invited guests.
Relatives we visit with twice a year are making the hour long trip.
No holiday. They just want catch up in person.
And so we will see them. And they will see us as we want to be seen.



this is just to say
the green towel on the side
of the tub was used
by me
only to dry my hair a second time.
you can use it.
there are no cooties on it.
or, if there are, they are very clean.