Posts Tagged ‘crazy

25
Nov
09

…I’ve Yet To Buy A Cat.

I do not smoke or snort or chew;
I do not go with men who do.
(Actually any men. Or girls either come to that.)

I do not gamble, drink or cheat,
Seldom if ever eat red meat.
(If I do guilt quickly renders all of the flavor flat.)

Only one vice remains for me-
It’s hoarding pens; I’ve 93.
(I’m not a crazy lady.
After all…)

15
Apr
09

Chicken-Fried Hypocrite (You Know Who You Are)

You watch all the TV shows on how to get in shape.
You criticize the girls who’d look pregnant if they ate a grape
Hold down one end of the sofa like you was Jabba the Hut.
You say I could lose a couple more inches offa my butt.

You are a batter-dipped, chicken-fried, fat-filled hypocrite.
Man, you must be crazy and I’m getting tired of it.
You tell us all to shake a leg
When all you do is sit.
You are a batter-dipped and chicken-fried fat-filled hypocrite.

Now you’re diabetic- triglycerides off the scale.
The drawstring on your PJs would fit a baby whale.
About two hundred pounds a-riding on your size 7 shoes.
Pick up the phone and say “Hello”
The Biggest Loser’s looking for you.

You are a batter-dipped, chicken-fried, fat-filled hypocrite.
Man, you must be crazy and I’m getting tired of it.
You tell us all to shake a leg
When all you do is sit.
You are a batter-dipped and chicken-fried fat-filled hypocrite.

16
Feb
09

What A Waste It Is To Lose One’s Mind

This train of thought’s running right on time.
What a waste it is to lose one’s mind.
Sense is lagging further and further behind
Cuz this train of thought’s running right on time.
Your lies burn in my veins like turpentine.
My eyes- previewing justice- got me drivin’ blind
Still this train of thought is running right on time.
What a waste it is to lose one’s mind.