Posts Tagged ‘nerdspeak

23
Mar
09

To An Almost Lover On His Proposed Return

Wild nights! Wild nights!
Had you been with me
Wild nights would have been
Our luxury– to paraphrase the Belle.
But your love- or lust- was not enough to make you stay
Here by me, pining as I did for our unconsummated love and a break in the schedule.
You met a girl- now there’s a surprise- at work,
“Things precipitated quickly,”-
Is that nerdspeak for “we fucked amost immediately?”- and
The two of you sailed off in a Birkenstock to the land of Ben et Jerry.
Now…you are back and want to “reconnect”-
Is that nerdspeak for “fuck after consuming several cups of coffee?”- and
I’m wondering why?
It can’t be lack of female companionship; you always had too many women in your life:
Your mother, your roommate, the wife you never quite finished divorcing, and me.
It can’t be friendship; friends don’t treat each other the way you treated me.
Come to think on it- I don’t much care for the way you treat other people either.
I’ve never really become domesticated so, if it’s housework you want, you’d be
Better off hiring a Molly Maid.
Companionship- out.
Friendship- out.
Domestic chores-out.
That just leaves one thing I can think of and
I am five years too heavy and
Eighteen pounds too old to be welcoming a booty call from you.