21
Dec
09

Rebirth And Retribution

In my next life, I’m going to be a big man
And I’m going to drive a big damn truck.
Being rich could only help me;
Having influential friends couldn’t hurt.
Then I could cut off other drivers with impunity
Especially the ones with Christian fish on
Their cars who force folks nearly off the road.
I could say what I wanted too like
“Cover your mouth, you son of a bitch.
No one else wants your germs because
You feel the need to cough.”
I’d take my grocery cart with 47 items and
Unload it in the express lane.
If people griped about it, I’d pay for their items too
Then they’d feel like dirt for complaining.
And, of course, there’d be no problem with my
Picking up young people- who’re sitting on the
Bus in the seats reserved for Honored Citizens- and
Moving them to more appropriate spots;
My influential friends would take care of getting
Any charges dropped or settlements arranged.
For some reason it was my destiny in this life
To be a small woman who drives junkers.
Maybe I’m supposed to learn humility or patience
Or just how to cope with a lot of crap.
But in my next life I’m going to be a big man
And I’ll be making up for lost time.

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1 Response to “Rebirth And Retribution”


  1. December 21, 2009 at 18:15

    I swear I can hear a deep, dark bass line while reading this one. Like the kind you hear when something’s going to happen in a movie and you’re bracing yourself for it.

    I’m becoming a big fan of yours. There. I said it.


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