To An Almost Lover On His Proposed Return

Wild nights! Wild nights!
Had you been with me
Wild nights would have been
Our luxury– to paraphrase the Belle.
But your love- or lust- was not enough to make you stay
Here by me, pining as I did for our unconsummated love and a break in the schedule.
You met a girl- now there’s a surprise- at work,
“Things precipitated quickly,”-
Is that nerdspeak for “we fucked amost immediately?”- and
The two of you sailed off in a Birkenstock to the land of Ben et Jerry.
Now…you are back and want to “reconnect”-
Is that nerdspeak for “fuck after consuming several cups of coffee?”- and
I’m wondering why?
It can’t be lack of female companionship; you always had too many women in your life:
Your mother, your roommate, the wife you never quite finished divorcing, and me.
It can’t be friendship; friends don’t treat each other the way you treated me.
Come to think on it- I don’t much care for the way you treat other people either.
I’ve never really become domesticated so, if it’s housework you want, you’d be
Better off hiring a Molly Maid.
Companionship- out.
Friendship- out.
Domestic chores-out.
That just leaves one thing I can think of and
I am five years too heavy and
Eighteen pounds too old to be welcoming a booty call from you.

1 Response to “To An Almost Lover On His Proposed Return”

  1. March 23, 2009 at 12:37

    I know guys like this.
    I know many who can relate to this one.
    Nice job as always.

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