Menopause, Where Are You Now?

We counted the days till our periods would start;
My friends and I waited with glee.
We wanted to be women and none did foretell
The next forty years of misery.

Menopause, where are you now?
Are you out there with some other woman?
Menopause, I need you today.
So stop your roaming around and come on home.

People count the money they smoke in cigarettes.
They count the pennies they drink up as booze.
Nobody knows the dollars I’ve bled
So one week a month I could have the blues.

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