24
Jan
09

Giant Squid Hinders Toilet Teaching

The teacher said, “It’s time for toilet training.”
But I’m not ready.
Using the big potty at school
Is really lonely.
You’re in that room all by yourself
When the teacher shuts the door.
Sometimes a friend of yours shuts the light off
And then you’re stuck-
You don’t want to yell like a baby
But you can’t get up to turn it back on.
And there’s something else.
I probably shouldn’t tell you.
You’ll think it’s silly.
My older brother told me a giant squid lives in the sewer
And sometimes, when you’re on the potty,
It snakes up a tentacle and grabs you.
I haven’t been doing this long.
I mean it’s hard for me to stand and aim
But I don’t want to sit down and then go missing.
Diaper-changes are nice.
You’re on the table in the light.
Your teacher is there.
Sometimes she blows on your belly.
Sometimes she gives you a toy to hold.
She asks you how you’ve been doing.
She says, “Omigod! Look at that poo!”
It’s all nice and bright and safe.
Teacher says, “Everyone’s different.”
I guess potty training’s just not right for me.

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